Phantom of Love

– When was the last time you saw him? – Kostya asked tiredly. – Eight years ago?

There was pity in his gaze. This is how they look at a child who has misbehaved.

But in front of him sat his 30-year-old wife, tearful and all torn. She was overcome by an old youthful passion. As people of the 21st century call it, the unclosed gestalt rose to its full height and closed all the good things that happened in their life together.

“I don’t want to deceive you,” Lena, whom he considered an adult woman, sobbed childishly. – This is wrong, and besides, you knew everything in advance.

“Thank you, I remember,” he answered quietly. – Well, go to him.

Lena sniffled. Incredulous admiration shone in the eyes:

– Are you serious?

– More than. If this is the guy you want so badly, what can I do? Why do I need a wife who is in love with someone else?

– But…

– Don’t, spare me the details, don’t explain anything, – Kostya knew what she wanted to remind him of. – How much do you need to make a choice and make a decision? Is a week enough?

Lena nodded. And then she wrote to Slavik: “I can come for a week. Are you waiting?

Three days later she sat in the compartment and, looking out the window, recalled the best novel of her life.

***

She saw Slavik at the bus stop and disappeared. He fell into her girlish dreams so much that in the first seconds Lena was literally speechless. While she was thinking, the guy waved his hand and disappeared into the taxi.

Lena probably grieved for a week. And then I met him again at the bus stop. Then she decided not to miss the moment – she got on the same bus with him, sat down next to him and dropped her bag at his feet:

– Excuse me…

– It’s okay, I’ll pick it up.

Their gazes met, and words were no longer needed. When Slava got off at his stop, he already knew about everything about Lena. And the main thing is that she is head over heels in love with him.

A third-year student at Foreign Languages and a graduate of a medical university.

They started dating and everything was going just fine until Lena was offered an internship abroad.

Slava did not want to let her go for six months. He convinced me to stay, saying that such a long separation was the end of the relationship.

Lena was offended:

– So you love me as long as you see me right in front of you? Will you find another in a week?

– I don’t know, I haven’t looked yet… but I think a month will be enough for me to search.

– Such a chance only happens once, I don’t want to lose it so that I can regret it for the rest of my life.

– There is always a choice – if language training is more important to you than love, I don’t keep you.

– Who are you? – Lena flared up. “You didn’t even ask me to marry you!” And you make this choice: you or my future. Do you want to control my life?

“I don’t want to anymore, Lena, you are completely free,” the beloved looked her straight in the eyes. – Have a good trip!

She shouted some nasty things at his back, but Slava did not turn around.

Lena left without clarifying her relationship with him.

She couldn’t even really understand who abandoned whom. I kept expecting steps towards reconciliation from him, I wanted proof of love, like in the books.

In reality, everything turned out differently.

Slava no longer called or wrote. He didn’t come to see him off. After the move, Lena began a new life and in the end it so happened that all ties were severed and they were lost with their first love.

Lena told herself that it was all over and she had forgotten Slava. In fact, I compared everyone to him. And after a while she began to dream about him…

When she returned, she looked for him for a long time. I couldn’t find it…

He moved to another city and stopped communicating with old friends. One guy from their previous company told Lena that Slava found a girl who looked like her like two peas in a pod and then left.

She met Kostya at work. And it was like a mirror story: he fell in love immediately and did everything to win the favor of the girl of his dreams.

At the very beginning, Lena told him about her unhappy love. She admitted that she was trying to let her go, but it always seemed to her that she had never experienced anything like this, as strong, as real. About how she thinks how wonderful it would be to meet again, that sometimes she dreams about Slava. Just an image.

Source: https://clck.ru/3BST9G

Kostya was not afraid, and did not become jealous of the past. He surrounded me with attention, didn’t press, didn’t rush things. Lena accepted the courtship, and when she received a marriage proposal, she honestly said:

– Listen, I feel very good with you, I really do. But if suddenly he is found, I am not responsible for myself.

So she got married. Not out of love, but simply because Kostya is a kind, good person, a “stone wall.”

And then Slava found her on social networks. I wrote something on duty.

What a love has begun! Horror!

Constant correspondence, an insane desire to meet. He called to him, wrote that he had been dreaming of a meeting for a long time.

At first Lena was happy, then she secretly shed bitter tears, then she began to find out how to file for divorce.

Kostya understood everything. He started an unpleasant conversation himself and now he gave carte blanche. Go to him, look at your love.

***

Slava was late for the station – she had been waiting for him for almost an hour. But he arrived with an armful of roses…

For the first two days, Lena was in euphoria. They couldn’t stop talking, Slava took the weekend, showed her the city, took her to cool institutions.

Then he went to work. The guest looked around the apartment. He said that he lived alone, but he could feel a woman’s hand in his home. Cleaning? Housekeeper?

Came late, tired, angry. When I realized that there was no dinner, I yelled:

– What have you been doing all day?

– You didn’t say anything, I’m visiting.

– Do you need permission? It’s like you came to live with me. Okay, I'll order delivery.

The next day, the hellish butterflies in her stomach quieted down… and then she and her neighbor started talking at the entrance.

The woman greeted her herself:

– Will you now live with our doctor?

“Noooo,” Lena was embarrassed. – I don’t know, I’m an old friend, I came to visit for a week…

– Come on! He has such old friends in half the city.

And she told her that Slavik was married twice, each wife had a child, but he walks around like a boy, constantly changes women, no one stays long.

In general, a couple more days and Lena was not happy with herself.

Where did it all go? How the scales fell from my eyes…

***

She left without saying goodbye.

I met Kostya and prepared her favorite fish and Greek salad. I didn't ask. There was only one question:

– Have you sorted yourself out?

Lena, who finally looked at her husband with different eyes, burst into tears:

– Forgive me, Kostya, I’m terribly guilty before you, I thought only about myself.

– Don’t talk nonsense. All people tend to idealize unfulfilled relationships.

– Yes, but what kind of fool do you have to be to waste eight years of your life on illusory love?

– It can be worse, Lena. But now we can get to know each other better.

… Ten years have passed since then. And they never returned to the theme of the ghosts of love.