The cure for loneliness

-So, we must remember to buy a couple more T-shirts for replacement. I’m sorting through yours, all of them are already stretched out, washed out…

– Olya, by God, why do I need new T-shirts in the hospital? Yes, and these are still normal, they are not stretched at all, I made that up too!

-Sash, well, I’m ashamed in front of people. One and only decent T-shirt, and that's what you're wearing. Well, you need to update it a little, you don’t have to sit at home and poke around in the garden beds at the dacha. What will people say?

– Olyushka, what am I, a beautiful girl, changing my wardrobes in my old age? And by the way, where are you collecting so much for me? Look, the bag is almost full. I'm not going to the North Pole. Just a routine operation, I'll be home in a few days.

-When you find yourself in the hospital, then you will understand that all this is very necessary! So, Sasha, you can’t cook porridge with you, that’s clear. I’ll go and buy everything myself, I know your sizes for sure after so many years.

Olga, humming in a low voice, left her open large bag in the middle of the room and went to get ready for the store. The husband looked at his active wife and smiled. It was useless to argue with her, and why? If Olyushka said it was necessary, then it really is so. Throughout his life, he was convinced of this many times.

Olya has always been an active woman. She loved her husband dearly and carried this love through their entire forty-year life together, sacredly protecting the hearth. The woman was a leader by nature, but in family life she tried to push her leadership qualities a little further. It turned out badly, and Olga resorted to feminine cunning. She always tried to make sure that her beloved husband was sure that it was he who made all the decisions and came up with ways out of current situations. The active wife gently led Alexander to those decisions that she considered correct, and even generously praised him for his intelligence and ingenuity. The husband is happy and proud, the wife is happy – what else is needed for happiness and peace in the family?

Olga always tried to keep her finger on the pulse and controlled everything that happened to her household. The control was not total – the wise woman knew that people usually do not like too much pressure. But none of her relatives strongly resisted her desire to know everything about everyone and actively participate in everything. The eldest daughter and youngest son, even in their teens, were quite lenient towards the manifestations of their mother’s enterprise and her irrepressible energy. Camping trips, excursions, trips to theaters and other entertainment were an integral part of the Sinitsky family – Olga said that all this broadens one’s horizons, and new impressions make the brain work with renewed vigor.

“It seems to me that we forgot to put something, Sash,” Olya, with a worried look, was sorting through things in her bag and for the hundredth time going through papers in a neat document folder, where the results of tests and necessary examinations that were needed for operations. Tomorrow is the hospitalization, but the woman still thought that not everything was ready.

“Olechka,” her husband stopped her gently, “well, it can’t be that you forgot something.” In my memory, for example, this has never happened before.

Alexander smiled, but his gaze was somehow thoughtful, and in general, today, starting in the morning, the husband was very silent and concentrated. Olga, looking at him over her glasses, quickly zipped up her bag. She realized that her tense state was passed on to her husband, and there was no need to be nervous before the operation.

-Okay, that’s it. Well, why am I really running around with this bag like a chicken and an egg? Well, I forgot something, oh well. It's two bus stops to the hospital, I'll take you there in a pinch. Let's go have some tea.

-Olechka, let’s take a look at the albums with photographs? Well, those where Alina and Igor are still small…

The woman looked at her husband in surprise. Usually she was the initiator of such evenings of memories with viewing old photographs; Sasha never asked for it himself. Yes, and this happened, mainly when the children came to visit, and this has not happened so often lately. Daughter Alina has lived in Moscow for five years, as she had dreamed of since her school years, got married there, and a little more than a year ago she gave her parents a new status as grandparents, giving birth to a strong son-hero. And son Igor lived abroad, in Hungary, where he was offered a job after brilliantly graduating from university; the guy was a talented programmer.

Olga reached to the top shelf to get old huge photo albums. She herself really loved in the evening, sitting comfortably on the sofa, slowly leafing through cardboard pages, plunging into pleasant and such bright memories. The children also liked to look at old photos in rare moments of meetings. True, Alina and Igor called these hefty books dust collectors and considered it a thing of the last century to print out photographs and store them in albums. They immediately saved new photos on the computer, and Igor had already digitized the old photos a long time ago. The children suggested throwing away the photo albums, but Olga, of course, did not agree. She didn’t like looking at photos on the screen, clicking the mouse every now and then. It’s much more pleasant to sit on the sofa with a cup of delicious tea and flip through the pages, each of which hides a separate memory.

“It’s a pity that the children couldn’t arrive earlier,” Alexander said thoughtfully, looking at the old yellowed photograph showing a happy, smiling Olga, next to whom sat five-year-old black-eyed Alinka, and cheeky, joyful Igor sitting on her lap.

-Missed you? – the woman asked, “well, nothing, Alina will arrive the day after tomorrow evening, and Igor has a plane on the twelfth.” I'll see you after the operation. Well, what can you do, the children have moved away, you can’t just get it together…

– Well, it’s good, Olya, that we’ve separated. It’s sad sometimes, of course, that you can’t see each other often. But still, they have more opportunities than in our town…

The evening of pleasant memories dragged on a little. Olga and Sasha looked at old photographs for a long time, rejoiced, laughed and even cried a couple of times. Seeing that it was already ten o'clock, and tomorrow morning she had to go to the hospital early, Olga shook her head. The woman quickly put away the albums, saying that after discharge she and the children would look at everything again, and the Sinitskys calmly went to bed.

The morning began with worries and activities. Having sent her husband to the hospital, Olga began cleaning. I washed the windows, wiped dust everywhere, mopped the floors. Around eleven he and Alexander phoned, he said that in 15 minutes they would come for him and take him to surgery. After wishing her husband good luck, the woman washed the dishes, cleared out the shelves in the closet a little and laid fresh bed linen on the beds of the children, who were supposed to come to visit the other day. Having decided that there was enough work for today, Olga went to the kitchen, made herself some fresh tea and, looking at her watch, decided that it was time to find out how the situation was in the hospital. It was still useless to call Alexander, he is most likely now resting from anesthesia, but you can just call and ask the staff how the operation went. Having sat down at the table with a cup of tea, the woman picked up the phone and shuddered quietly. It turns out that the hospital already called her number fifteen minutes ago. The phone was on kitchen, and Olga, apparently, simply did not hear the call from the back room. It was somehow strange, and the woman, feeling her hands starting to get cold, dialed the hospital number with trembling fingers. The chief doctor, introducing himself, said in a tired voice that Alexander Georgievich Sinitsky died during the operation – his heart failed…

A beautiful cup with a gold handle from an old, once very fashionable set fell to the floor with a clang. The golden handle broke off and bounced against the wall, and aromatic tea spilled in a golden puddle across the freshly washed linoleum. Olya didn’t know how long she sat at the table like this, motionless, indifferently looking at the tea-stained floor. Probably for a long time, because she had difficulty scrubbing the linoleum – the woman liked to drink sweet tea, and the dried drink did not want to be washed off quickly. Then Olga sat down at the table again, took the phone, dialed her daughter’s number and in an absolutely calm voice, which made her feel terrified, said:

-Alinochka, dad died during the operation. Please call Igor, okay? Maybe he will somehow be able to change the ticket in order to make it to the funeral?..

The woman hung up, with difficulty understanding that she would have to bury her own husband. Well, this word couldn’t connect in her head with the smiling, kind, cheerful Sasha. Well, how is it – Sasha and the funeral? It can’t be, it can’t be! He is only sixty-two. So much has not been done yet. And Igor did not get any grandchildren, and Alinka’s son is very small, he has not yet gone fishing with his grandfather, has not tinkered with the car’s engine. Imagining little Vityushka, who, busily snoring, brings a wrench to his grandfather, Olga began to sob loudly for the first time that day…

-Fell asleep? – Igor looked questioningly at his sister when she entered his room. Today was already the ninth day since the death of their father, and they were preparing a small memorial table at home, for those closest to them.

Alina, tiredly sitting down in a chair, answered:

– Yes, thank God. Only at night, most likely, will he wake up again and start wandering around. Mom can’t sleep for a long time, even with sedatives. Listen, Igor… I thought, maybe I should stay with my mother. Tomorrow I'll call my husband and talk to him. He will understand me. He will also come here whenever possible. I’ll take Vityushka here and stay. Mom can’t do it alone, she always needs to take care of someone.

“You seem to be leaving maternity leave soon,” Igor said quietly.

-Well, yes, in four months. It’s okay, I’ll settle down here. The salaries are not Moscow, of course, but my husband earns decent money, we can manage. And then we'll see.

– To be honest, I thought about returning myself. I see that mom will feel bad here alone. Well, I worked abroad, it’s time to know the honor. Here, too, you can get quite a decent job. Moreover, I don’t have a family, children, it’s easier to break away and return home.

-What about Ilona? Did you think you were going to get married?

“Yes,” Igor darkened, “this is a problem.” I will invite her to come with me. Of course, I doubt that she will want to fly to Russia, but what if? If he doesn’t want to, that means we’ll test our feelings with distance. If they don’t pass the test, then such love is not needed. Our mom and dad, I’m sure, would follow each other to any corner of the world…

Olga stood outside the door all this time. She couldn’t fall asleep, although she pretended to, but she immediately got up as soon as Alina left. The woman knew that eavesdropping was not good, and always taught this to her children, but now, having heard one phrase from Alina, she simply could not leave. Making sure that the children had finished their conversation, Olga quickly and silently slipped into the living room, quietly closed the door and lay down.

The woman lay studying the ceiling and thought. I thought that she and Sasha managed to raise their son and daughter as wonderful people, and he would always be proud of the children. And Olya was also thinking that now, at all costs, she needed to convince Alina and Igor to go calmly and not worry about her. Yes, it will be difficult, but it is definitely necessary. Well, she has no right to deprive her children of the life they so strived for. Well, what kind of family life will Alinka have – she and her son are here, her husband is in Moscow?.. The family will fall apart so quickly. And Igor? Here he had no luck with girls, but in Hungary he met Ilona and, it seems, was very happy. So what, now all this needs to be destroyed? A young girl from the capital of Hungary should move to a town in the Russian hinterland? May she not go, and she will do the right thing! Well, for what? Just because her boyfriend's mom is lonely and sad? No, that's not the case. Olga’s arms and legs are intact, God bless everyone. The children will come to visit, yes, she is always happy to see them and looks forward to it. But to give up their whole life for her, to which they had walked with such difficulty and perseverance – well, no… Yes, the woman madly, to the point of pain in her heart, wanted the children to stay with her. She was not used to an empty apartment, and yes, it was very important for her to constantly take care of someone. And Alina and Igor knew this very well. Moreover, we must try as hard as possible and let them understand that everything will be fine with her. After all, children should not sit next to their parents all their lives, they should definitely separate. Otherwise they will not have any life…

The morning turned out to be sunny and bright. Having risen at seven in the morning, Alina and Igor went out to the kitchen, where the cheerful, energetic Olga was already frying ruddy pies with cabbage, and freshly brewed tea was steaming in the teapot.

-Are you awake? – the woman asked in a cheerful voice, “well, sit down at the table, almost everything is ready.”

Brother and sister looked at each other and sat down at the table. Alina, pouring tea into mugs, said with admiration:

– Mommy, what an amazing aroma! Just like in childhood, as if we never left!

Olga’s heart sank. Having difficulty coping with the incoming tears, she said:

– And this is because, Alina, I live all the time, as if you were nearby. Well, it’s as if you went to school or ran away for a walk, and now you’ll be back. People always have this feeling in a home where they are loved and expected.

-By the way, mom. We talked to Igor here. In general, we decided to return here and live here.

-What is it? – Olga asked with sincere surprise, “are there any problems?”

– No, it will just be difficult for you to live alone. Well, how can we leave you here alone?

-What kind of news is this?! First of all, what makes you think that it will be difficult for me? Yes, such a tragedy happened to dad, you need to get over it. But I can totally do it alone. Yes, I feel your support from a distance! And then – what does “quit” mean, Alina? Are you going to leave me? I am always waiting for you and I know that you will definitely come. Yes, and through this you can communicate at any time… Well, what’s his name, Igor?..

– Skype? – Igor asked with a smile.

– That's it, he's the one. So don't make things up. You better, Alina, choose a time to bring Vityushka to stay with me, otherwise you’ll have to go to work later and there won’t be any time at all. And you, Igor, have a task – go ahead, persuade Ilona to take a short trip to Russia. Well, we need to get to know each other after all! In general, I need to visit the capital itself. Will you accept me for a couple of days, Aline?

– Mommy, what are we talking about? With great pleasure!

-Well, fine! And there, you look, and I’ll get to Hungary. You have to go abroad at least once in your life? – the woman winked cheerfully at her son.

…A week later, Olga, having seen off the children, returned to the apartment and collapsed exhaustedly on the sofa. Physically, she could move mountains, but mentally it was so hard for her that the woman could only lie aimlessly on the sofa and look at the ceiling. The large three-room apartment was so empty, lonely and insanely quiet that Olga could hear her breathing and heartbeat. She simply had no idea what to do now all day long alone. There is no need to think of something tastier to cook – in recent days she almost stopped feeling the taste of food and, by and large, she didn’t care what she ate for breakfast and lunch. There is no need to iron the shirts that Sasha loved to wear when they went for a walk in the park in the evenings. Now she won’t even have to clean up so often – what can she litter on her own? And the TV in the evenings will not hum quietly, telling the world the latest news, while Sasha quietly dozes in front of it on the sofa… Apparently, we will have to learn to live with the idea that now life will enter this house only with the arrival of children. And this is so rare and so short-lived…

Almost two months have passed. Olya lived as if on autopilot. I got up early, did light exercises, and made tea. Everything as usual. Only more and more often she sat by the window and looked into the distance for a long time, as if she was always waiting for someone. The woman continued to do some household chores, but every now and then she caught herself thinking that it no longer brought her any pleasure. Olya was always so active, and any work, even at home, brought her joy. She enjoyed making the house clean, fresh and welcoming. And now she was cleaning, dusting and washing the floor simply because it was necessary, she was so used to it and couldn’t do it any other way. Olga also felt that she had grown very old during this time, and her beloved apartment, so clean and tidy, also grew old with her and became somehow uncomfortable and gloomy, despite its cleanliness.

One day, when the sky was overcast with gray clouds that had no end or edge, Olya sat by the window and felt especially lonely and depressed. Recently Alina and Vityushka came and stayed with my mother for three days. Seeing them off at the station, Olga felt even more devastated than last time. It became even more difficult to leave, and returning to an empty apartment was simply unbearable. On the way, out of habit, she bought a local newspaper at a kiosk – during Sasha’s life she always bought one for him and put the latest issues in a pile on the bedside table. Now, sitting down by the window, the woman opened the newspaper and began leafing through it indifferently. Having reached almost the very end, Olya suddenly stopped at the page with advertisements and dating. No, she definitely didn’t want to meet men. But I suddenly remembered that once upon a time I came across a funny advertisement in the same newspaper – that an elderly widow was looking for an equally lonely woman of a similar age in order to spend leisure time together and live out this life. Or rather, then Olya thought this announcement was funny, but now she felt all the pain that that woman probably experienced. Olga ran her eyes over all the advertisements. Of course, there were no similar ones. Well, then you’ll have to write to the newspaper yourself… Olya went into the living room, opened the cabinet, took out a piece of paper, returned to the kitchen and, sitting down at the table, began to write:

Dear editors! I am a single woman at the age of survival. I'm looking for a kindred spirit, a woman of about the same age, so that we can help each other not die of loneliness. We will go to the theater, to exhibitions, or just visit each other. This will make it easier for us to live the rest of our days.

Having finished writing, Olga found an umbrella, threw on a jacket and ran to the post office. Having bought the envelope, she carefully inserted the letter into it, sealed it and threw it into the mailbox.

Days dragged on after days, turning into one continuous ball that simply rolled in a circle, changing day to night and vice versa. Olga was already thinking about forgetting about her letter to the newspaper, when her phone suddenly rang loudly one day, highlighting unfamiliar numbers on the screen.

-Hello Hello! Is this Olga?

“Yes,” the woman answered confusedly.

-I read your ad in the newspaper. My name is Lilya. Do you accept guests? – the ringing voice in the telephone receiver did not allow me to come to my senses.

-Well… Yes, I accept. When do you want to come?

-Yes, right today. Will around six o'clock in the evening be normal?

Having finished the conversation, Olga walked into the kitchen in a daze. Lord, I need to prepare something, and what the hell is on my head…

At exactly six o'clock in the evening the bell rang in the apartment. Olga once again looked around the table, on which there were hot sandwiches, eggplant rolls with garlic, chopped vegetables in beautiful plates, and potatoes and meat were languishing in the oven, and went to open it. Seeing the guest on the threshold, the woman simply became speechless. Behind the door stood a lady of about sixty-five in a breathtakingly bright dress and such a wide-brimmed hat that she seemed to take up half the landing. In her hand was a cage with a parrot. The lady slightly bowed her head and asked in a clear, young voice:

-Are you Olga? Am I at the wrong address?

-No, we weren’t mistaken. Please come in,” Olya froze, letting her guest into the apartment.

-Olya, do you mind that I’m with Monya? Monya is my parrot, please meet me. He's quiet with me, don't worry. I can't leave him alone at home. That’s why we probably won’t go to theaters for now; he and I simply won’t be allowed in there. But you can try it at the exhibition.

The guest laughed loudly and, without allowing the hostess to get in a word, she continued:

– Actually, I didn’t really like your announcement. Can I use “you”? Yeah. It's too painful for you. But, since there were no others like him, I decided to call you. Well, let's get you out of your sadness. You know, I myself lost my husband in an accident five years ago. The children are adults, they live far away, they come once every five years… It’s only my bad character that saves me. Well, Monechka too, I don’t know what I would do without him. Oh, Olya, you smell so delicious!

-Come in, Lilya, come in! – Olga said with a smile. For some reason she really liked this rude, extravagant woman. There was something real about her.

-Oh, this is the table! As I knew, I had saved a bottle of sparkling wine for such a table,” with these words Lilia took out a bottle with a beautiful label from somewhere in the depths of her huge bag.

Six months later, Olya and Lilya were already packing their bags to fly to Hungary to visit Igor. They have already traveled to Moscow together, and also flew to Kaliningrad to visit Lily’s sons. The time has come to move abroad. Lilia was just worried how Monya would cope with this trip; after all, it was a different country. But Olya didn’t worry about anything. She was glad that such a wonderful friend appeared in her life. Sasha is probably there, in heaven, looking at her and rejoicing that now his beloved wife does not suffer from loneliness. Olga also plans to get a parrot upon her arrival from Hungary, so that her house will no longer be empty and gloomy.